Holy cow, did you see? There is an awesome party coming up next weekend. It looks like the best party ever!
There will be lots of famous people there, an open bar, great food, and gorgeous women.
I would LOVE to go to that party.
The problem is, it is a party to reward people who donated to an important humanitarian cause. Invitation only.
I did not donate to that cause. But, man... the party is going to be awesome! I need to figure out a way to get in.
Well, I decide to sneak in through the kitchen. Got lucky, no one noticed me. This is GREAT! I can't believe I am actually in this crazy fun party now. This place is amazing! The lights & sound are killer, the women are gorgeous... is this Heaven?
The best part is, people seem to be assuming I belong. They are saying "hello". The waiter offered me a glass of champagne. Hors d'oeuvres are offered from a silver tray. I accept, graciously.
I am loving this! Oh, here comes my favorite recording artist. I actually get to chat for a minute and get a photo taken! Awesome!
Whew, a few more glasses of the bubbly, and I'm a little tipsy. I guess I had a bit too much, and as this beautiful lady walks past, I grab her butt. Just a little. No harm, no foul. But NooOOooo. She turns around, glares at me, slaps me in the face, and yells for security.
Oh great. Now three thick-necked, earpiece-wearing goons are grabbing me and asking to see my invitation. What the...? How DARE they! I'm IN THE PARTY, YOU IDIOTS! You have SOME nerve asking for my invitation! I'm HERE, am I not? Of course I had an invitation. I just... err... misplaced it. What's that? How much did I contribute to the cause? Umm... err... well NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! Hey, LET GO OF ME! You can't throw me out! I have a glass of champagne to finish! OW! Stop dragging me! JEEZ, you guys are out of line. All I did was come in for some food and fun! I'm not hurting anything!! OUCH! Thanks for opening the door with my head, you fascist pigs! UGH (thump). (Slam). Great. In the alley looking like a loser.
Who do those snobs think they are? I've got as much a right to be in that party as any of those so-called donors!
...and that, my friends, is the illegal immigration problem faced by Arizona in a nutshell.